Understanding
Many of us are not living the truly happy lives we wish we had, and intuitively know are possible.
Instead we ‘make do’ with our lives as they are – having failed to find solace in the usual pursuits that society ‘says’ will make us happy.
Whilst a nicer house and a faster car, an exotic holiday, and eating out at an expensive restaurant, can all provide glimpses of the satisfaction we desire, these experiences quickly fade.
And too often we are left with that nagging feeling somewhere inside, that something isn’t quite right, that we deserve more than this, and that life could and should be better.
With nowhere else to turn, people often make the transition to looking within for this elusive state of happiness.
It is as if the understanding suddenly dawns that true happiness is not to be found in the outside world, but the world within us.
Acceptance
The art of being happy lies in a total acceptance of who we are, which includes what we think and how we feel.
This is often counter-intuitive to people. We tend to think that if we experience negative thoughts or uncomfortable emotions, we should ‘get rid’ of them or find some way to banish them.
And we grow increasingly frustrated as our efforts to do this come to nothing.
Even in modern mindfulness circles, the constant attempt to manage our experience in this way, leads to many years of practice without any real fundamental change in our wellbeing and attitude to life.
What is needed is a radical turnaround. We need to learn the tools that allow us to be with ourselves – both when we are at our best and when we are at our worst.
This non conditional acceptance of ourselves is truly transformational and leads us to a place where we can be content within ourselves, no matter what is happening in the outside world.
Hello from Sagara
If your life isn’t what you want it to be, maybe I can help.
I know what it’s like to be in mental and emotional pain. I’ve had my own life trials to deal with.
Like my father’s death when I as twenty four. Open heart surgery at forty three. Then a diagnosis of melanoma three years later, and then Barretts Oesophagus shortly after – all of which continue on.
That’s not to mention the usual things. The love and loss and general difficulty of being a human being on this planet of ours.
Of being a son, a father, a sibling, a friend. And all that this entails.
Not that I’m looking for sympathy. Because I am really not. I am just trying to say I know that life can be hard.
And that it forced me to look within.
It forced me to find the resources within me to deal with anything.
To deal with whatever life throws up.
And I know that you can find that too.
Over the last 25+ years I have deepened my ability to help others with difficulty in their lives.
I have worked privately, in the NHS and in the UK prison system, dealing with all manner of emotional and mental health problems.
I have helped people young and old, rich and poor, of various genders, religions and cultural backgrounds.
And I have worked constantly with myself, seeking a deeper and deeper understanding of the mind, and the mechanisms at play.
During this time I have always had a passion to help people who are in the grasps of mental and emotional suffering.
I know from experience that there is always a way out, no matter how unlikely that sometimes can seem.
And it often feels like that is what I am here to do.
The Process
As we learn that it is possible to rest with our fears, a courage develops to face whatever emotions arise within us.
By seeing clearly the words and images that arise in our mind, we release the fears keeping difficult emotions in place.
Through an empathetic engagement those in our life, we begin to see and approach them from a place of love.
By letting go of the painful aspects of our emotional experience, we release the 'glue' that keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns.
The conflicts we have brought with us from our past can be resolved through a compassionate non-judgemental response to ourself.
As we become free ourselves from the need to identify with unhelpful stories, we experience a freedom born from unconditional love.
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
How it works
What happens in and between Advanced Mindfulness Sessions
During a session, I will largely be asking you to rest with the emotions that arise within your body.
At times we will also look to any words and images that appear in your mind.
The process is largely one of acceptance of what is happening and developing this ‘habit’ so that you can take it away from the session onto your normal everyday life.
Emotions often gets ‘stuck’ because we are fearful of experiencing the intensity of them.
But we often find there are also views that are keeping these emotions in place.
Through somatic experiencing and a two way dialogue about what is happening in your experience, I can help you understand how to intuitively work to release these ‘stuck’ aspects of your experience.
This allows the natural process of healing to take place so that we can rest again in presence, and move forward in our lives, no longer inhibited by unresolved conflicts from the past.
Between sessions I will also give you recommendations for simple exercises you can do to aid this process.
I am trained Kiloby Inquiries Facilitator. I also have experience of NLP, Deep Looking, Direct pointing, Reiki and Shiatsu, as well as a grounding in Buddhism. The techniques I use are non religious and are directed at what is best for you in this moment, never pushing you further than you are prepared to go.
The number of sessions people need can vary depending on their own individual experience. Emotional healing naturally requires time, and it is likely that a number of sessions will be helpful. Having said that, I would expect you to notice a shift in your experience from the very first session.
No this is not therapy, much as therapy can be valuable. This is about somatic experiencing, identifying and resolving views that keep the emotions in place, and developing an attitude towards oneself of radical love and acceptance whatever may be happening.
I will send you a Zoom link and we will meet online. I have worked online with hundreds of people and I do not find it a barrier to making good progress. It also allows you to stay in the comfort of your own home.
This approach can help anyone but there needs to be an intuitive resonance from you regarding how this works. To ‘allow’ emotional pain is counter intuitive to many people and whilst it can bring incredibly beneficial results, it is not something that can or should be forced upon anyone. That is why I always begin with a ‘getting to know you call’ to see if this is the right fit for you.
I offer a free 20 minute ‘getting to know you’ session whereby we can meet and begin to understand if working together is the right thing for us both to do. You can book this below. After that I operate a sliding scale from £50 to £80 per 75 minute session depending on income.
If you’re feeling stuck and in need of some help,
why not get in touch.
Please fill out the form below to book your ‘Getting to Know You’ call.
Many of us are not living the truly happy lives we wish we had, and intuitively know are possible.
Instead we ‘make do’ with our lives as they are – having failed to find solace in the usual pursuits that society ‘says’ will make us happy.
Whilst a nicer house and a faster car, an exotic holiday, and eating out at an expensive restaurant, can all provide glimpses of the satisfaction we desire, these experiences quickly fade.
And too often we are left with that nagging feeling somewhere inside, that something isn’t quite right, that we deserve more than this, and that life could and should be better.
With nowhere else to turn, people often make the transition to looking within for this elusive state of happiness.
It is as if the understanding suddenly dawns that true happiness is not to be found in the outside world, but the world within us.
The art of being happy lies in a total acceptance of who we are, which includes what we think and how we feel.
This is often counter-intuitive to people. We tend to think that if we experience negative thoughts or uncomfortable emotions, we should ‘get rid’ of them or find some way to banish them.
And we grow increasingly frustrated as our efforts to do this come to nothing.
Even in modern mindfulness circles, the constant attempt to manage our experience in this way, leads to many years of practice without any real fundamental change in our wellbeing and attitude to life.
What is needed is a radical turnaround. We need to learn the tools that allow us to be with ourselves – both when we are at our best and when we are at our worst.
This non conditional acceptance of ourselves is truly transformational and leads us to a place where we can be content within ourselves, no matter what is happening in the outside world.
If your life isn’t what you want it to be, maybe I can help.
I know what it’s like to be in mental and emotional pain. I’ve had my own life trials to deal with.
Like my father’s death when I as twenty four. Open heart surgery at forty three. Then a diagnosis of melanoma three years later, and then Barretts Oesophagus shortly after – all of which continue on.
That’s not to mention the usual things. The love and loss and general difficulty of being a human being on this planet of ours.
Of being a son, a father, a sibling, a friend. And all that this entails.
Not that I’m looking for sympathy. Because I am really not. I am just trying to say I know that life can be hard.
And that it forced me to look within.
It forced me to find the resources within me to deal with anything. To deal with whatever life throws up.
And I know that you can find that too.
Over the last 25+ years I have deepened my ability to help others with difficulty in their lives.
I have worked privately, in the NHS and in the UK prison system, dealing with all manner of emotional and mental health problems.
I have helped people young and old, rich and poor, of various genders, religions and cultural backgrounds.
And I have worked constantly with myself, seeking a deeper and deeper understanding of the mind, and the mechanisms at play.
During this time I have always had a passion to help people who are in the grasps of mental and emotional suffering.
I know from experience that there is always a way out, no matter how unlikely that sometimes can seem.
And it often feels like that is what I am here to do.
As we learn that it is possible to rest with our fears, a courage develops to face whatever emotions arise within us.
By seeing clearly the words and images that arise in our mind, we release the fears keeping difficult emotions in place.
Through an empathetic engagement those in our life, we begin to see and approach them from a place of love.
By letting go of the painful aspects of our emotional experience, we release the 'glue' that keeps us stuck in unhelpful patterns.
The conflicts we have brought with us from our past can be resolved through a compassionate non-judgemental response to ourself.
As we become free ourselves from the need to identify with unhelpful stories, we experience a freedom born from unconditional love.
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”
Here is what happens during and between Advanced Mindfulness Sessions….
During a session, I will largely be asking you to rest with the emotions that arise within your body.
At times we will also look to any words and images that appear in your mind.
The process is largely one of acceptance of what is happening and developing this ‘habit’ so that you can take it away from the session into your normal everyday life.
Emotions often gets ‘stuck’ because we are fearful of experiencing the intensity of them.
But we often find there are also views that are keeping these emotions in place.
Through somatic experiencing and a two-way dialogue about what is happening in your experience, I can help you understand how to intuitively work to release these ‘stuck’ aspects of your experience.
This allows the natural process of healing to take place so that we can rest again in presence, and move forward in our lives, no longer inhibited by unresolved conflicts from the past.
Between sessions I will also give you recommendations for simple exercises you can do to aid this process.
I am trained Kiloby Inquiries Facilitator. I also have experience of NLP, Deep Looking, Direct pointing, Reiki and Shiatsu, as well as a grounding in Buddhism. The techniques I use are non religious and are directed at what is best for you in this moment, never pushing you further than you are prepared to go.
The number of sessions people need can vary depending on their own individual experience. Emotional healing naturally requires time, and it is likely that a number of sessions will be helpful. Having said that, I would expect you to notice a shift in your experience from the very first session.
No this is not therapy, much as therapy can be valuable. This is about somatic experiencing, identifying and resolving views that keep unresolved emotions in place, and developing an attitude towards oneself of radical love and acceptance whatever may be happening.
I will send you a Zoom link and we will meet online. I have worked online with hundreds of people and I do not find it a barrier to making good progress. It also allows you to stay in the comfort of your own home.
This approach can help anyone but there needs to be an intuitive resonance from you regarding how this works. To ‘allow’ emotional pain is counter intuitive to many people and whilst it can bring incredibly beneficial results, it is not something that can or should be forced upon anyone. That is why I always begin with a ‘getting to know you call’ to see if this is the right fit for you.
I offer a free 20 minute ‘getting to know you’ session whereby we can meet and begin to understand if working together is the right thing for us both to do. You can book this below. After that I operate a sliding scale from £50 to £80 per 75 minute session depending on income.
If you’re feeling stuck and in need of some help, why not get in touch.
Please fill out the form below to book your ‘Getting to Know You’ call.