Dealing with grief can be inconvenient. You have your life after all. Stuff you need to get one with. Things you need to do.
You haven’t got the time to be assailed at every whim by these rampant emotions that give no forewarning they are going to arrive.
Emotions that leave you hiding in your room, or in a cubicle at work, until you have the composure to face the world again. It’s completely understandable you want to get rid of your grief. And to get rid of it fast!
But here’s the thing….
Grief is not something you can just get rid of. And the very notion that you want to get rid of it implies that you are actually heading in the wrong direction.
Because, for sure… you can throw yourself into work, or spend your nights intoxicated by TV, or drink, or drugs. Or a whole host of other ways of avoiding your emotional experience.
And that may serve to push the grief further down into the depths of your being. So far down that you hardly know it’s there.
(Accept of course you do)
And it may be that you find a way to continue on with your life. To function. To get by.
But you’ll have missed an incredible opportunity.
Because whilst grief may be inconvenient, and painful and raw – it is also the doorway to the most powerful and positive emotion we know.
It is the doorway to Love.
Not love in the romantic sense. Not love in the sense of attachment and possession and need. But love in the sense of freedom and light and joy.
That is what is on offer here. Much as it may seem so very far away. So impossibly out of reach.
What really needs to happen is a ‘turning towards’. A ‘turning towards’ all that raw emotion and pain.
A huge unbridled cuddle needs to take place. Of all that sadness and loss within you. That is just so desperately wanting to be met….
Only you can do that.
There is no-one or no-thing else that can respond in this way. It really is down to you.
And it’s not easy. Because no one ever showed us how to ‘be’ with painful emotion. It was never taught at school. And even most professionals expect that you can talk it away.
Somatic experiencing of grief is something completely difficult. Something completely radical.
An understanding that is just beginning to come into the mainstream.
The future of positive mental health.
It is an allowing of our grief to arise, as it wants to, moment by moment. And an experiencing of that, however it shows up.
Be it anger, or hate, or rage , or guilt….
Or whatever is appearing now.
It’s a ‘turning towards’ rather than a moving away. It’s an allowing, a loving, of whatever chooses to arise.
This is the fast way to deal with your grief,
But it is fast not because you want your grief to go away. But because on the contrary, you have allowed the grief to simply ‘be at home’ within you.
This is true alchemy. Where we allow the transformation of our sorrows through the light of awareness, into the peaceful joy of unconditional love.
It is a journey only suited to the brave and courageous at heart.
But the rewards are far beyond what we can dream.
Advanced Mindfulness is a method of resolving mental and emotional conflict, removing emotional blocks and limitations from our past, and allowing the natural state of happiness and presence to sine through. Sagara is an experienced Advanced Mindfulness Practitioner whose mission in life is to help empower people to be able to work with their emotional states, to live happier, less stressful and more fulfilling lives.